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I’ve taken the quiz, and the results are in: I’m borderline Basic Bitch. My symptoms include: decorative coffee mugs for when I’m not at Starbucks; dairy-free frozen yogurt with colorful, self-serve toppings; frog slippers; festive scented candles; only one stuffed animal; pic in front of Disney’s castle; Whole Foods bags (paper), which I traded later for reusable totes; haters on Instagram when I post selfies - too obviously posed?; Essie nail polish for my toes; Lululemon yoga leggings; occasional Valley-Girl sociolect; minor lapses in self respect. What can I say? I, like, know what I like. At least I’m not a “drama queen” or a “ho.” Laryssa Wirstiuk lives in Jersey City, NJ with her miniature dachshund Charlotte Moo. She teaches creative writing and writing for digital media at Rutgers University. Her work has been published or is forthcoming in Crab Fat, Gargoyle Magazine, Word Riot, and Up the Staircase Quarterly. You can view all her work here: http://www.laryssawirstiuk.com. |
