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What Ads Don’t Say
 
 
Dog Gone
Dog missing from Cherry Run Road. 9-yr-old black lab dug
out of yard with no collar. Stupid dog keeps doing this and will
end up squashed if we can't figure out how to keep him in. No,
we can't shut him in the house because he chews up everything. If
you find him and decide to keep him, just let us know and good luck.
 
Nook Color Tablet
Like new. Wifi, streams, downloads, videos. Comes with charger &
headphones. I loved it and the grandchildren were so proud that
their Christmas gift was appreciated and used, but my eyesight is
about gone now. Will use the money to buy books I can listen to.
 
Nice Slip and Boat
Must sell boat slip and 29' Bayliner Cruiser. State-of-the-art
facilities on beautiful Chocowinity Bay include showers, 
patio with grills, 24/7 video security. Nice if you don't mind
weather and bad fishing. Don't know how my dad did it all
those years. In the five years I've poured money into this
life I've caught exactly two fish to be proud of and lost three
fishing buddies including my boyfriend.
 
Flower Girl Dress
Beautiful white sleeveless dress, size 5. Worn once. We got the
grass stain out real good from when she threw herself down on
the lawn and refused to toss the rest of the rose petals. If there
was gonna be another wedding in the family any time soon we'd
keep it ourselves because it's right pretty.
 
Bread Machine
Clean, in good condition, easy to use. Makes tasty dinners and
dessert breads. Try the brioche. It is to die for. And I might, my
doctors insist, if I don't get rid of a few more temptations, like
this sweet gadget, and shed seventy pounds sooner than asap.
 
 
Now retired after working in a university library, Nancy Shires has been writing humor and poetry. She has published in such journals as Barbaric Yawp, Illya’s Honey, Main Street Rag, and Pinesong, Favorite question I was asked in the library: I need information on Madonna—the real one, not the church one.
 
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